Psst…You okay?

Sometimes I get worried about you. Yes, I am talking to you. I know you are working really hard to make this ending homelessness thing happen. I know sometimes that means you are not sleeping well and working long hours. I am also pretty sure you were the one worried about where things are going politically as it relates to this work (and America as a whole). Plus your friends and family are stressing you out a bit. I got you. Let’s do a little check up from the neck up, shall we? I have some questions to ask you, and all I ask is that you be honest with yourself as you go through them:

Are you exhausted? Are you struggling to get motivated in the morning? Are you still feeling wiped out after a weekend or even days off?

Do you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep? Are your dreams interrupted by thoughts of the people you serve and the work?

Are you getting sick more often? Is stress making you feel physically sick? Do you feel anxiety about the potential of a physical illness?

Are you using more alcohol than you used to? Are you having more than a couple drinks at the end of the day to deal with the stress of the day? Have you found yourself seeking a prescription from your doctor for pain so you get access to narcotics? Are you using drugs to escape or to excess? Have you been late for work or missed a day because of your drinking or drug use?

Feeling angry about stuff that never used to make you angry? Having outbursts with clients, colleagues, friends or family members in a way that is inappropriate or disproportionate to what actually occurred? Find your tongue sharper than usual and spending a lot of time apologizing or thinking you should apologize? On edge and read to blow up at a moment’s notice?

Crying a lot lately? Or on the verge of tears? And sometimes for the seemingly weirdest things or stuff that never used to make you cry? Or when you do have a good cry do you still feel you have more bottled up inside?

Avoiding your clients? Making yourself so busy you can’t possibly meet with them or talk with them on the phone? Do you know there are things that should be taken care of with clients that are not happening?

Things good with your friends? Still seeing them as much as you used to? Are you able to carry on an engaging conversation, or are you in a rush to go back to being alone?

Does your family feel connected to you – and do you feel connected to your family? If you have kids, are you performing all of your parenting duties adequately relative to the age they are?

Are you still getting your groove on with your significant other? Is the sex good and are you present in the moment? Are you able to provide and receive pleasure? Can you sustain your interest for the duration of the moment?

Can you still feel empathy? Do you find yourself being angry or irritated rather than supportive? Do you find yourself slipping into sympathy? Are you judging your clients or co-workers rather than trying to understand and relate to them supportively?

Do you feel you are making any difference in your job? Do you wonder if you still have what it takes to make a difference in the life of others? Do you wonder if any of this really matters?

Have you wondered what the world would be like without you in it? Have you thought about killing yourself? Have you thought about how you would do it?

Do you feel rage or violence about clients, coworkers, friends or family – even though you may not be acting on it? Have you thought about what it may feel like to demonstrate that rage or violence?

Are you missing work more regularly? Are you missing out on family events? Have you opted out of hanging out with friends?

Are you cynical about seemingly everything? Catch yourself rolling your eyes at others (literally or figuratively)? Do you snipe at others with condescending statements or sarcasm?

Is the stuff you are experiencing at work impacting your personal life? Do you find yourself having any irrational fears that stem from stuff that happened at work? Do you feel anxiety about the state of the world? Do you think the world is inherently an evil place?

Do intrusive images pop into your head about work stuff? Ever been driving and had a terrible image in your head? What about when you are trying to go to sleep? Do your dreams ever have intrusive images from work, or even been awakened by the thought or with the thought of an intrusive image? Have any of these images impacted your relationships with others?

Are you maintaining a life outside of work? Are you keeping your personal and professional life separated? Can you leave your phone alone when you are not being paid to look at it? Are you increasingly going in early, working through lunch, avoiding breaks, or staying late?

Do you still have hope for the people you serve and the work that you do? Do you still believe the world can become a better place and that our work matters in helping to make that happen? Do you have the ability to still believe that next week can be better than this week; next month can be better than this month; next year can be better than this year?

I’m your friend. I have had those feelings before. I know what it is like to burn the candle from both ends. I know what it is like to burn out. If you find yourself concerned or feeling uncomfortable with the responses to the questions about, it is time that you talk with someone you trust and maybe even get some professional help. If you are an American reader of the blog, you can get information about suicide prevention resources here, and if you are a Canadian reader you can do so here…just in case you need it. And remember, you taking care of you is self-preservation, not self-indulgence. Only you know if you are in a good place these days, and only you can take the initiative to address it if you are not.

Ending Homelessness is Simple, but It Ain’t Easy

Housing is the only known cure to homelessness. If your entire organization or community is focused on getting people out of homelessness as rapidly as possible and into housing with the supports customized by their choice and needs, then you are doing it right.

If your organization or community is making people jump through hoops, being engaged in programs that they must graduate through, demonstrate “readiness” or prove that they should be housed, then you are using housing as a reward and you are doing it wrong.

See, homelessness is a really simple situation to solve. If you do the right things in the right order with the right people, you get the same (positive) results over and over again – the homelessness for the person/family is ended.

That doesn’t mean it is easy.

First of all, it can be difficult for an organization to figure out what the right things to do are, especially if they are winging it and trying to figure it out as they go rather than being thoughtful and intentional in their planning and training.

Secondly, it can be difficult for an organization to figure out the right order in which to do things because by the very nature of working with human beings, each person/family is different and comes to the process with different strengths, as well as opportunities for growth. Complexity doesn’t mean it is impossible to figure this out, it just means that the order of what to do what will be customized. I can assure you, though, if anything in that order is not focused on permanent housing as rapidly as possible, you are doing it wrong.

And third, it can be difficult for an organization or community to figure out the right people to serve. Why? Because this means knowing what every single service and support provider does and does not do. All eligibility has to be known. You also have to know something about availability (flow through) within each of those services and supports. And you need a “centralized brain” to orchestrate the match between an opening in a program and a candidate for the program, otherwise everything comes down to luck rather than design. On top of this, it is difficult because organizations and communities rarely talk about and agree on what the shared principles are for anchoring the work, nor do organizations and communities have robust conversations and generally come to an agreement readily on which populations or subpopulations are the priority for which services and why. Without doing that, it is impossible to answer whether or not the “right people” are being served because that can only be measured against that which the community agreed was the “right people”.

Maybe if we can make the tough decisions we will realize just how simple it is to end homelessness. And the more something is done, the easier it gets.

Say Thank You to Your Haters

Once you find your voice and reason in life, it will be what expresses you. It becomes what you stand for, which inevitably also represents what you stand against.

I am a recovering asshole. I have been inhabited by hate. I have hated. I have held others in disdain. I have been nasty. I have bullied. I have intimidated. I have shot down the dreams of others. I have pummelled people with my intellect in the hopes of feeling better about my own insecurities. I have avenged others for perceived wrongs. I know the hater, because I was one – and didn’t even have the personal insight to know it for many years.

Now, I choose to love because it is the strongest thing I can do. It proves that I reject hate, even when hated. I cannot control the hate of others. But if I am going to be hated for who I am, then I need to be fearless in being who I need to be.

Now, I say thank you to my haters. And there are plenty. Some hate what I say. Some hate how I say it. Some hate that I make them feel uncomfortable. Some hate the way I look. Some hate that I swear. Some hate that I am Canadian (oddly enough by other Canadians sometimes). Some hate that I have had opportunities they have not. Some hate that I critique the dominant paradigms. Some hate that I use data and evidence. Some hate that I am innovative. Some hate that I do not ask for permission from others before doing new things. Some hate that we are a private company. Some hate that we do no give away every stitch of research or testing we have done on our products. Some hate that some of the ideas we share are not published, even though we have loads of data to back up our position. Some even hate that I have a popular blog that people read.

Some haters tell me that they hate me. Some haters will couch that in language that sounds supportive, such as, “We are so worried for your soul because of the terrible things you do to the homeless that we have been keeping a prayer chain going for you.” Some haters just don’t invite me to stuff, even though I may have a lot to contribute. Some haters make false promises that they never deliver on (oh, the emails, phone calls and contracts I am waiting for!).

I could lie to you and bust out the “sticks and stones may break my bones” nonsense. But when it comes to professional colleagues and your life’s work, sometimes words of the haters do still sting. Sometimes when haters don’t invite you to a specific event or want you to kiss their ass to get asked to join in on something, it really bothers me. I could tell you I am a bigger person and it doesn’t bother me – but that would be a lie. If I make a conscious decision to not be filled with hatred myself, then I have to give myself permission to feel, as imperfect and bothersome as my emotions may be sometimes.

Haters prove to me what I do not want to be.

Love has proven to be possible when I stop comparing myself to others. If I am authentically who I am, and I am vulnerable with sharing my imperfections, then I have the ability to open myself up to being a gift.

I accept that there is darkness. I accept that even in a profession of people that state they are trying to help others, there is no shortage of people trying to tear others down. These are not helpful comments and feedback. These are shots intended to destroy others. It is all about ego. As a mentor remarked to me a few years back when we were just getting the SPDAT started, without darkness the shine of the stars would be lost. The more stars, the prettier the night sky is how I feel now.

I say thank you to my haters because they have taught me about resilience and perseverance. Without others telling me that I cannot or that I should stop, the value of continuing to move forward and succeeding would be meaningless. I can be remarkably imperfect, still have days full of self doubt, and yet still keep pushing forward.

Haters help me “work the problem”. When confronted with something in life or practice that is not working, it would be easiest to give up or blame someone else. For years in my career, especially when I worked in government, I could go to meeting after meeting just to outline what could not be done. I complained instead of creating possible solutions. I thought it was my job to dump my problems on the lap of another to absolve myself from responsibility. But if haters see you do that, it confirms all of their suspicions about you. So now I work the problem to find solutions.

Haters remind me of the importance of being fearless in telling the truth. And I live in that truth. The only people, it turns out, that are pissed off that I keep living in the truth are those that are living a lie. I am not saying all those that live in hate are liars, but there certainly are some.

Haters keep me motivated after I make mistakes, and challenge me to keep taking risks. Taking a risk is the only proof I can give you that I believe in hope. Continuing to try after tasting failure is the only proof I can give you that the idea was important enough to me in the first place. If I give up, the haters win. I have learned so much from my mistakes, I am committed to making even more.

Haters are going to hate. I cannot control that. But thank you to the haters, because you make life worth living, with greater conviction to be awesome and full of love. And without the haters, I probably would not be as committed or work as hard to end homelessnes.

An open letter from a faith-based volunteer to the professionals that help the homeless in the community…

This is a guest blog provided by John Horn. John is a friend and reader of the blog who works in the field of homelessness and is also a man of devout faith. He has penned this response to the Open Letter to Faith Based Organizations blog I wrote a few weeks back. I respect his opinion, input and response, and with his permission, I am posting it as the blog for this week. 

Dear (insert name of said professional)…

You do not approve of the homeless feeding program that my fellow church members and I provide on a weekly basis. I know this because you voiced concerns about the feeding in a news story on the program. I am sorry that my actions made you upset and that you feel that I am part of the problem – not part of the solution – to ending homelessness. Rather than complain about what we are doing, work with us to be part of the solution that you spoke about. Here are some suggestions to help us…

• Understand that we care. We saw people in need and wanted to help. Food is easy to provide and can help people feel better – even if only for a little while. We did our best.
  
  

• Talk to us. Our church has been around for years but have you ever come to meet with us? We have been feeding in the park for a long time and not once did you stop to talk to us about our approach and how it was a misguided approach. We obviously care about people and would not be upset if you came to speak with us about what we could do that is more effective than a feeding program in the park.
  
  

• Speak so we can understand. Helping the homeless is not my full-time job so please stop using acronyms and terms that I do not understand. What is CES? PSH? SPDAT? How am I supposed to help if I do not understand what it is you are talking about? You want me to come along? Then be prepared to teach me what I need to know in plain language.
  
  

• Know that our church is not made of money. We are providing food in part because it is an inexpensive response to homelessness. Our church is not a mega-church. We do not have a lot of discretionary money for programs. Understand that our food program is 100% volunteer and donation driven. We hold a lot of soup suppers to get donations but this does not amount to a lot of money. We want to help but funding is limited – suggest solutions that are practical.
  
  

• Be consistent. We are volunteers and are out here providing food every week – rain or shine. You came to speak with us but we have hardly seen you since then. You said we should incorporate assessments of people to get them into the system and you said that you would be by to complete them. We advertised that these assessments would be provided but – on the day of our feeding – you failed to show. We also hand out the cards you gave us with your hotline number but the folks we serve say that you never return calls. Why commit to something if you cannot do it?
  
  

• We still see people on the street. You asked us to stop feeding in the park. You asked us to be advocates. You asked us to provide move-in baskets. We did all that was asked but we still see homelessness on the streets. How do we reconcile what you are asking with the suffering we see on the streets? People are still hungry so do we just look the other way and be confident in that we are helping the “right” way?
  

Thank you for listening. I hope that we can work together to end homelessness.

Sincerely,

A volunteer who cares.

One Truly Beautiful Thing

Homelessness is human suffering. You cannot spin human suffering. But you can still decide to do one truly beautiful thing. Maybe that is once per day. Maybe once per week. Heck, maybe once a year.

If I say “do one truly beautiful thing” to most people and they think of something exceptional…outside the norm. I am not surprised when they think of charity. Beauty, in my opinion, is best when it lasts. Beauty is best when it is something deeper than how we value or turn most things we like into commodities.

We are made up of small changes, incrementally feeding into the behaviour of the person we choose to be. If you do one truly beautiful thing in those small changes, you can relate more honestly with human suffering.

Our shared humanity is our beauty. I am not better or worse than any person I serve. I have a different address. I will not pathologize any perception of affliction or issue in a person’s life. I will not give in to those who would have me see homelessness as a character flaw.

Doing one truly beautiful thing is scary. At the root of most of our work area bunch of cold calculations – how are we going to use which technique to improve a person’s life today or even get them out of homelessness. In fact, some are so entrenched in the condition of their homelessness that you can watch others give up on even trying to do a beautiful thing to change their practice to engage better.

For almost a year now I have been doing one truly beautiful thing each month. I think of one area of my professional life (blogging, training, engaging with people that are homeless so that other practitioners can see my approach, meeting with senior leaders, process diagrams, evaluation, grant writing, policies and procedures, etc.) and think of how I can truly add more beauty to one part of it. To add beauty to something, I have given myself the following conditions:

• The improvement has to be more emotional meaningful than it previous was;

• It has to be authentic, not contrived or forced;

• With perspective I feel a great emotional connection than I otherwise would.

I am never going to be the touchy-feeler social work type. But that does not mean that beauty is lost on me or that I am incapable of deliberately trying to do beautiful things. When surrounded by human suffering, I owe the world manufactured beauty, because, to paraphrase King, only light can erase darkness.

Leading Change

The 2016 Leadership Academy in Ending Homelessness is in the books. We had another sell-out this year, with participants from three countries. Clear to me: we need to keep investing in leadership if we want to achieve complex social change. And homelessness is definitely an example of complex social change.

For the participants, it was a chance to reflect on who they are as a leader. This means an examination of strengths and opportunities for growth from a very vulnerable position, getting deep into sharing with table teams that were organized in advance with a collection of people to influence and be influenced by (that they had unlikely ever met before the academy). Against the serene backdrop of West Virginia, there was also time for considerable self-reflection and increased personal awareness.

Day Two allowed us to move into how we influence others and how we are influenced by others. Drawing upon the first day, the attendees come to learn how their own morality, values and beliefs frame how they tell the story of homelessness and that such a  story (Teachable Point of View) needs to reach people at an emotional level if it is going to have influence in how they respond to homelessness. Change is influenced heavily by emotions.

On the final day, we get really heavy and explore systems leadership. If we want to appropriately engage with the likes of health, mental health, substance use recovery, benefits, criminal justice, child welfare and other systems then we need to figure out the interconnectivity through regenerative dialogue. Homelessness touches so many other systems that change cannot happen independently of those other systems. The problem is that we rarely tap into creativity to explore non-linear connections and opportunities to respond to and create change.

Throughout the three days we had guests as well. Linda Kaufman talked about leaning into mistake-making. Ann Oliva, on her own dime and time, walked people through her life journey and growth into leadership, as well as touching on risk-taking and the impacts of gender and race. Zach Brown helped leaders see the value of data dashboards so that they best understand how to track the change they are influencing.

Overall, the experience was an extraordinary gift to me, and the ability to influence so many other thoughtful and influential leaders. I think we are moving in the right direction towards making change sustainable in the issue of homelessness and move communities closer to achieving the aim of making it rare, of short duration and non-recurring.

Now onto the next challenge for OrgCode, preparing the materials for the Learning Clinics to help practitioners take the next step towards service excellence.