Guardians of Stories
This is a guest blog by Jeff Standell who is a full-time intake specialist and works part-time for OrgCode doing SPDAT training and advising. On top of that, he is a stand-up guy who teaches me loads about patience and the privilege of service. I am a better person for knowing Jeff. If you like the blog, reach out and send him a note jstandell@orgcode.com or hit him up on Twitter @jstandell
I attended a funeral today, and I realize that by the time this blog reaches the light of day my today will be long past. The funeral in question was not for a loved one, family member or friend, not for a past colleague. I came from a funeral of somebody who used to be homeless, and after crossing my path, and that of other people in our community who battle daily to end homelessness, was not homeless when she passed away.
My job as a centralized intake worker involves meeting people when they are in difficult situations, sorting through their story, and trying to help navigate them to the appropriate supports. Sometimes this is housing first, sometimes rapid re-housing, sometimes to an emergency shelter, sometimes to government offices to try to gain some support. During my time with them, at our initial meeting, I generally complete an SPDAT with them, should that be appropriate. However, in the early minutes of our time together I often ask other questions. This serves two interests, first, I find it helpful in establishing rapport, and second, and perhaps more importantly, I’m genuinely interested and honestly care. When our interaction is done we part ways, sometimes briefly until a program space opens up, sometimes forever as they move on, either to find housing on their own or perhaps into the wind. Regardless of the outcome, that interaction impacts me, it stays with me. Many hundreds of times in the past three years my life has been impacted by these interactions. I have described my position in many ways to many people, but my favorite descriptor is that I am a guardian of stories. Our housing first providing agencies only ever hear the stories from those few who make it into their programs. We, during the intake process, get to hear them all, and I feel it is our duty to make sure that these stories are heard, treasured, and never become just another number.
And then I went to a funeral, and my perspective changed. For all of the rapport I had built with this woman, for all of the times we sat across a table from each other, and there were numerous interactions in the past three years, I learned that I really knew nothing about her at all.
There were over a hundred people in the room, I knew the handful of other service providers, but I didn’t know any of her friends and family. When we had last spoken, about 5 months prior, she shared that she had isolated herself from her supports. Clearly that had changed.
Another thought entered my mind as I watched the slideshow that had been prepared. As I saw for the first time pictures of her as a baby and young child I realized, not for the first time but it is always a good reminder in our work, that when she was growing up she didn’t aspire to the life she ended up living. She had hopes, dreams, goals, and ambitions. I am almost certain that being homeless in her adult life was not part of her plan. Just like everyone else in that room she dreamed of a future, and somewhere along the way that dream turned into a reality that at times resembled a nightmare. Her life took a detour, a rocky road the details of which I cannot share without breaking the trust she placed in me, but suffice it to say it was rocky. By the time our paths crossed for the first time she was focused more on her survival than any ambitions she had growing up. Yet through it all she maintained hope and never gave up. She had found some supports, but the ability to find, secure, or maintain stable housing was, and would remain, difficult for her.
I pride myself on doing a good job, of being thorough while being respectful. I can reasonably believe that most of the service providers that I work with would concur. I love that I have a job that allows me to be curious and genuinely interested in people. I’m good at assessing, at gathering information that is important in determining acuity and prioritizing. I am proud to be a guardian of stories, and today I realized how little of the stories I actually get.
And then I wondered how often this is true of the rest of us?
How often do we forget that the person sitting across from us, whether it’s our boss, our colleague, our client, our best friend, our child, our parent, or just the person in front of us in line at the coffee shop has a story that we haven’t heard?
I went to a funeral today and saw at least a hundred people impacted by the life of one person. I thought of Girard’s Law of 250, even though it applies to sales it still made me think about the number of people we impact in our lives, and the spin off impact that they will have on others if we have had a positive impact on them. If you look at your own work, whatever role you play in ending homelessness, just imagine how many lives you have impacted. Just imagine how far the ripples extend, because you became part of all those stories.
I am the guardian of hundreds of stories.
Today the final page was written for one of those stories.
After I composed myself and got back to work I became a part of someone else’s story.
My pledge to myself is to not forget the people I serve, or forget that even my small part on their journey impacts countless others who I have never, and most likely never will meet. My challenge to you is to do the same.
Mid-Year Stats
Here we are mid-year. Just tallied up some numbers:
I have been to 47 different communities so far this year (some more than once) and other OrgCode team members have been to a dozen more.
I have logged more than 100,000 air miles so far this year. That is the equivalent of going around the globe about four times.
About 850 people Like the OrgCode FaceBook page. (facebook.com/orgcode)
About 1,100 people follow me on Twitter. (@orgcode)
More than 105,000 viewers have come to the blog. (wow)
The most popular blog of the year (so far)? 10 Things to Keep in Mind if You are Serious About Ending Homelessness
OrgCode went from two owners to one (me) earlier this year.
“SPDAT” and “OrgCode” are the two most popular terms that lead people to our website through search engines.
110% is what we give it every time we make a presentation, speech or training session. Okay, not quite accurate. Just 100%. I was trying to sound like a jock there with the sports cliché.
1 is the average number of nights I spend at home each week.
Lives impacted through our work? Not sure. We hope a few.
Here’s to the second half of the year and the pursuit of being awesome.
Be Awesome
When I say “be awesome” to people or as a closing to an email, it isn’t something I say lightly. I say it because I want people to inspire awe in others. Our world needs more awe.
Here are some six random ideas on how I think you can be awesome:
Be really passionate about something meaningful for the world (beyond your own needs). Learn the most you can about it. Practice it. Commit to get better and better and better at it.
Find someone that inspires awe in you. Talk with them about how they inspire that awe. Ask them questions about their talents and the things they have learned along the way from successes and moments of painful learning. Mentorship is super cool.
Make even better mistakes tomorrow. It is inspiring to watch brave attempts rather than the ho-hum of planned mediocrity and failed nothingness.
Be your own person. Conformity does not inspire awe. What is amazing is someone with honed critical thinking skills that doesn’t come across as a dick or a know it all. What is amazing is someone that has come to peace with who they are – all the way around. What is amazing is someone that continues to evolve the more they learn about who they are and experiment with their talents and personality in different settings. For some this is quiet reflection and well-chosen moments to speak and a lifetime of active listening. For others this is boisterous rallying of the masses. People that are their own people come off as legit in a range of settings that play to their talents.
Always try to be worthy of the highest esteem of others. Some examples that come to mind: Standing up in front of a group of people to talk about an important issue? Do it with integrity and honesty and commitment to do your best possible. Have to convince politicians of a new way of doing things or a unique way of thinking about a complex social issue? Do it with intelligence and passion. Need to provide advice or direction to others? Do it with sincerity and sufficient explanation.
Have the fortitude to stand up to injustice – always – because it is a characteristic of awesomeness. These are people that don’t just do it when it is convenient. These are people that do it with each living breath. It is amazing and truly awe inspiring to watch stigma, prejudice, inequality, sexism, racism – and the like – tackled head on, with panache and grace.
Be awesome. It is our greatest responsibility – to leave our mark on the world and each other in the most incredible way we possibly can.
The Non-judgmental Practitioner
Thoreau famously stated, “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
In discerning about how to write this blog – in my reflections and prayers (yes, I pray – or at least try to) – I have thought hard about how to describe being non-judgmental without coming across as, well, judgmental.
Rabbi Hillel in Ethics of the Fathers is quoted as saying, “Do not judge your fellow until you are in his place.” In the 7th Chapter of the Matthew in the New Testament it reads, “Judge not, that you not be judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
Am I suggesting you have to be religious or spiritual to understand judgment and the importance of non-judgment? No. I just happen to think these particular pieces provide guidance to me on how I think about how to be a non-judgmental practitioner.
Am I willing to accept that how homeless (or formerly homeless) people in my community live their lives is not something that I can or should judge? Or do my own values influence how I see the issue? Can I frame my thinking from an ethical standpoint (rules within a specific context to determine what is right or wrong)? Or do my morals override (how things should work or be understood as right or wrong based upon my individual ideals)?
Some examples…
You live an abstinent lifestyle but have service participants that use alcohol and other drugs. Your own morals may suggest abstinence is best – perhaps because of your own personal experience or religious beliefs.
You are personally against abortion and believe that life starts at conception. The laws of the land indicate that abortion is legal, and you may have female clients that are seeking assistance with knowing the whereabouts of an abortion clinic.
You believe that sex outside of marriage is sinful. Yet unmarried clients you are supporting may be seeking condoms to prevent disease or pregnancy.
You are against corporal punishment. However, it remains legal in domestic/home settings where you live. You see parents spanking or hand-slapping their children after the child has done something wrong.
See my point?
I have come to accept that I am remarkably flawed human being. I have so many faults that I am on the precipice of being perfectly imperfect. Do I want to be judged? Goodness knows I judge myself plenty. I don’t need someone else doing it too. I know the areas of my life that I suck at…some are a work in progress, some are on the to-do list, and others are on the “I have accepted it will always be there and now let’s move on” list.
But it isn’t because I have an exhaustive list of defects that I cannot and will not judge others.
It is because I have learned to accept that the people I serve will be different than me. This makes them no better or worse – just different. There are laws and due processes that we, as a society, have put into place to deal with the bigger stuff like murder and abuse and victimization and exploitation. The other stuff? Unless I am ready to hold a mirror shoulder high and say it to myself (gulp) I am certainly not in a position to pass any commentary on others. I haven’t walked a mile in their shoes nor can I point out the sawdust in their eye when there is a log in my own. Or from the wisdom of Thoreau, am I willing to see all the strengths and opportunities within the person, or is what I see only the defects and shortcomings and past mistakes? Guess it depends on what I see. I hope to see the good in everyone.
Wow – That is a Big Number
This is a short, supplemental blog to acknowledge the amazing achievement that the 100K Homes Campaign and the Campaign Communities reached today, announcing that the goal has been surpassed (101,628 of which over 30,000 were Veterans).
Whether your community participated in the campaign or not, you need to learn from what they were able to accomplish.
Others may outline this better than I, but here is what I have taken away from the experience:
Have steadfast fixity of purpose and don’t waiver from it.
Set a target that stretches you beyond your comfort zone.
Appreciate that imperfect action trumps perfect planning…much is to be learned from the art of doing.
Put together a kick-ass leadership team.
Create excitement amongst service providers and celebrate their awesomeness and leverage their expertise.
Don’t lose sight of the people that you serve…the homeless persons that receive housing.
Prioritize who gets housed rather than creaming or first come, first served.
Pull in geniuses like the Rapid Results Institute to accelerate change even more.
Challenge dominant thinking in a community if that dominant thinking is entrenched in ineffective ways of doing things.
Stay on message in talking about your achievements.
This campaign may go down as the greatest game changer that has ever happened in the sector. High five to every homeless person housed through the campaign; high five to every campaign community; high five to every elected official and government employee that supported the campaign; high five to every volunteer that participated in a registry week; high five to Community Solutions and the 100K Homes Campaign team.
Compassion
Those who work on social matters – by and large – are people filled with compassion, or at least initially attracted to the work because of their strong sense of compassion.
‘Compassion’ is a beautiful noun, initially born from the Latin ‘compati’ which means “to suffer with”. In essence, compassion is solidarity coupled with tenderness and mercy, and a steadfast resolve to alleviate and conquer hardship.
Much has been written about the need for improved data in addressing and solving social issues – and that is a good thing. Much has been written about the need for strategic and informed programming and policy development grounded in evidence – and that is also a good thing. There is an increasing understanding of compassion fatigue and the impacts that has on helpers – and this is good knowledge to have.
But we should never lose sight of the compassion that drives most people to address social issues in the first place. It is for this reason that I know with absolute certainty that there are only ever going to be six types of people that need your compassion:
Someone’s mother
Someone’s father
Someone’s sister
Someone’s brother
Someone’s daughter
Someone’s son
These are the only people with whom we shall ever suffer with, and these will always be those most deserving of a steadfast fixity of purpose to ensure their hardship is alleviated and resolved. Keep this in mind and you can exert the fullest potential of your compassion.